20 signs you’re being gaslighted
Red flags in relationships come in all shapes and sizes. These red flags aren’t always glaringly obvious, nor do they necessarily come in the form of physical abuse or violence. While some abuse and manipulation in relationships can be more subtle and hard to recognize, these forms of oppression can have lasting effects on a person’s self-esteem and self-worth. Perhaps on more than one occasion, a loved one targeted your character, making you feel inadequate and small. Remember the countless times you questioned your own feelings, or suppressed them altogether to make space for someone else’s emotions? How about when your memory of an event was discounted in favour of someone else’s recollection of the affair? If this is a one-off occurrence, or a simple mistake, that’s one thing. But if recurring moments like these become a pattern, even though they may seem like unintentional slights, they can quickly snowball into psychological manipulation. This type of emotional abuse is called gaslighting. According to Dictionary.com, it involves “distorting the truth in order to confuse or instill doubt in another person to the point [that] they question their sanity or reality.” The term originated from Patrick Hamilton’s 1938 play Gas Light about an abusive relationship, then gained momentum in 1944 with the movie Gaslight, featuring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer. Boyer, an international criminal, is keeping a secret from his wife Bergman. He leads her to believe that she is the one losing grip on reality for being suspicious of him. Today, gaslighting is not only a red flag that signals emotional abuse and psychological manipulation in relationships, but is also recognized as a form of oppression. Racial gaslighting seeks to manipulate and discredit the collective experiences, memories, sanity, and emotions of marginalized communities. Read on for 20 signs you’re being gaslighted. Once you’ve recognized these signs, determine whether these actions are manipulative and controlling or blatant mistakes and thoughtless accidents. If the former is the case, start taking steps to equip yourself to manage and eliminate this abuse, either with the help of a professional counsellor, the guidance of an HR department, or the support of your loved ones.
2024-03-27T04:09:02Z
Training for a marathon? Read our guide first
Marathon running is not for the weak of heart, body, or—indeed—mind. Despite this fact, more than a million people compete in marathons around the globe each year. If you want to join the cohort, you will need grit, determination, and some expert-backed advice. To help you with the last piece of the puzzle, we spoke to certified coach and founder of The Running Center, Mindy Solkin. Should you be new to the realms of running, you’ve come to the right place. Here, she shares her expert advice on how to get started.
2024-03-28T10:13:07Z